Love, when you are young, boasts a lot of passion.  When the couple declares “I do!” most mean love to last “until death us do part.”  But sadly many marriages do not last until death, and divorce splits man and woman.

            What takes its place?  There are some, even in our family, who replaced that once brightly burning love with hate. Perhaps the general idea of hate being the opposite of love is one that is prevalent in our society.

       That is not so, for love is a powerful emotion.  From the Book of the Revelation, John recorded the words of Jesus which portray those who stray from the fiery faith of youth this way:  Revelation 3:14-21  “And to the angel of the church ◙ of the Laodiceans write,

‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: 15“I know your works, thatyou are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. 16So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither ◙ cold nor hot, Iwill vomit you out of My mouth. 17Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do notknow that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked— 18I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that youmay be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, thatthe shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anointyour eyes with eye salve, that you may see. 19As many as I love, Irebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. 20Behold, Istand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opensthe door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he withMe. 21To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on Mythrone, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.

This feeling of being neither cold or hot is the indifference that is the true opposite of love.  Indifference means that we really don’t care about the life of the one we formally loved.  Successes are ignored, setbacks in their lives glossed over; we just don’t care.  There is no gloating over the problems our former partners have nor any rejoicing when there are triumphs achieved.  We don’t want to be in the same room as they, we decline when invited to places we know they will be.  Indifference means that, to us, it is as if they never existed.

       John Donne, English poet of the 16th and 17th centuries, after suffering a life-threatening illness, wrote one of most famous of his poems, titled “No Man is an Island”, in which he writes of his solidarity with all mankind.  To him, indifference to life, anyone’s life, was not an option. Here is poem:

No man is an island,

Entire of itself;

Every man is a piece of the continent, 

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less,

As well as if a promontory were:

As well as if a manor of thy friend’s

Or of thine own were.

Any man’s death diminishes me,

Because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;

It tolls for thee.

            It seems that from a religious and humanitarian perspective, indifference replacing love (toward those we formerly loved) is not really an option.  That’s tough, for we had spent energy and effort towards someone we once wanted forever, but now we do not want to have much to do with that person.  It becomes more difficult when that someone does not want our attention.

            Each time loves dies, we have the choice on how to handle the situation.  As stated before, many turn to hate.  Others want to shut out that period in their lives, just try to forget the time in our lives when we loved and lost.

  Regrettably, many try to hurt the former partner with grasping for that which the union had produced and denying that person complete enjoyment of the past.  This comes when legal fights erupt over property, and visitation rights or custody of minor children.

            This points us to an intermediate way to deal with the loss of love, without falling into the pit of revenge, the choice to live and let live.   I have seen many who have taken the “middle” road and it has turned out to be the best way.

            A person can rekindle the fire of a faith gone cold, and many “lukewarm” Christians need to do so.  From the human side of love, many have “moved on” from that first flame of passion to find some else to share their lives with.

            But circumstances will and sometimes must blunt the harsh reality of total indifference, the true opposite of love.