Woe is me!  I live in a land of wonderful color, of people who are black, brown, yellow, red, and various shades not named.  Yet I, an old man of white skin, get no breaks from the powers that be because I am evidently devoid of any quality that gives me special treatment from our political betters.

            This is not because I am uniquely invisible to the general public.  Various studies show that we (the invisible whiteness) constitute from 60% at the low end to as much as 70% at the most.  We are here, yet according to our solons (lawmakers), we are not seen.

            Who is to blame, then, for my not getting laws passed to aid me in my life, and protect me from those who would abuse me?  I believe that those responsible would be my parents.

            We start with the melanin in our bodies.  If my parents would just have injected enough of that stuff in me, I might look black or brown.  Then, with only about 12.3% of the population being that color, the money would flow from Congress to me and my ilk.  Perhaps if just enough  made me brown, the same would occur.  And laws making it hate crimes would be passed so I could claim victimhood any time some misfortune befell me.

            Now, Asian-Americans are having special laws and considerations, even though only 5.3% of Americans are such.  Why couldn’t my parents have had the foresight to have me born in Chinatown or Little Japan?  Instead of suffering the stigma of being white and straight, I would be living the life of Riley by being in a protected species.

            Native Americans are now being sought out in order to give them special protections and extra cash because of their status even though they make up less than 2% of our population.  As a child, I always liked to pretend to have lived out west, with the cowboys and Indians in my dreams and fantasies.  But no, Mom and Dad had to have me born in Iowa, away from any reservation.  Perhaps my high cheek bones would qualify me for inclusion in some tribe, like Elizabeth Warren.  I did dream about being an Apache  —  is that enough?  Evidently not, for the powers that be would just look at my ‘aging’ whiteness and deny me special treatment.

            Oh, to have been born in one of our Pacific Islands!.  There, the constant sunshine would have darkened my skin enough to be included in that protected group.  But in Iowa?  Some summers are hot and sunny, but we had to endure winters that seemed to last all Fall and Winter and Spring, and  we fought the three and four foot snow in the colder months.  Inside for days on end, we kids just got whiter and whiter.  But for those who are less than 1% of Americans, the halcyon days stretched forever as the lawmakers lavished cash and care on them.

            What about the Muslems?  With only 1.1% of Americans claiming that minority status, that group wants special protection from ‘hate crimes’, when there are few such crimes.  In fact, some of those crimes perpetrated against Islamic people in our nation have been with exaggerated or fabricated.  And my straight, white parents taught us to respect all, but if we could have been designated Islamic, our ‘betters’ in D. C. would bend over backward to protect us from the depredations foisted upon us.

            And please, don’t get me started on the sexual identities who claim special privileges because of their sexual preferences!  According to studies, about 4.5% of Americans claim to be of the LGBTQ communities, yet laws to protect them, to punish any crime committed against them are enhanced as ‘hate crimes’ have been passed on both federal and state levels.  Now the activities want to expand the rainbow flag to include those who are transgender, a group that polls south of 1%.  My parents did not explain that we could claim membership in these minority groups, and so game the system for more money and protection.

            One wag has proposed creating an identity minority of ‘straight, white people,’ and demanding special treatment.  If it would increase my income, help protect me from people who don’t like minorities, then I want to become a charter member.  

            But I, as others of the white persuasion, must become members by ourselves.  So many, like my parents, failed us by not making sure we were included in the identity politics.  We must work to stand out, trying to become visible in spite of our whiteness.