Here is a short poem that all of us have heard, ever since we were children. In fact, it is in any anthology of Christmas poems. Remember it?
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating his Christmas pie.
He put in his thumb
And pulled out a plum
And said, “What a good boy am I!”
Most of us, if we have any self-awareness at all, have at times in our lives asked ourselves if we are really a good person. Sociopaths and psychopaths will not contemplate any such inward search, but the large percentage of people in our country are concerned, at least occasionally, about their moral standing.
This gets more attention as we age, and we see fewer years ahead than the ones we have in the rear view mirror. Children, while growing up, usually have a healthy ego, and mostly feel they are good boys and girls. But the aim of this essay is to try to determine some of the criteria about how well we have lived, and how positive an impact we have made in our world. We shall choose some topics at random and explore how we have fared.
Parents can get some indication of how they have lived their life by seeing how the kids turned out. If your children have grown into productive members of society, perhaps we can say with the young Jack, “What a good boy am I!”, for my children have turned out all right. But even that is a mixed bag. We have all known of families who have raised a “black sheep”, a boy or girl who has not done well in life. Sometimes we wonder why, because parents raise their children in the same household, teach the same lessons, exhibit the same good example, and one of them just goes off the rails. Do we hold ourselves to blame if that happens in our family? Does one bad apple ruin our integrity of life?
How about our career paths? Is our work experience such that we can determine how well we have done with our time on earth? Sometimes people get stuck in dead end jobs where the only aim is to get through to the next paycheck, and these have no joy in their work. But if that paycheck supports a family and enables the worker to maintain a positive influence in his community, his church and his circle of friends, even dead end jobs are not the measure of a person’s integrity. Vocations where the worker directly affects the well-being of those with whom he comes in contact with might give an indication a person has lived a life of worth. Those might include those in the medical profession, teachers, law enforcement and the clergy. Here is helping others directly, perhaps even saving lives. Someone who has done this might be able to say, as they sink back in their easy chairs at night, “What a good boy (or girl) am I!”
Yet even some of these selfless public servants sometimes have an evil side, not seen by those outside. Ted Bundy, the serial killer of young women in the late 20thcentury, manned a suicide help line while a young man. Who can tell? John Wayne Gacy, the murderer of more than 30 young men and boys, entertained youngsters at parties in his role as a clown. Again, since we are so adept at presenting the best to others, the mask of integrity, we cannot claim that integrity just because we work in a profession that helps people. Most of those who are in the help professions are solid, upstanding citizens, but again — who can tell what their darkest secrets are?
Well, there is one category whose adherents we know can claim a life of integrity. That is the clergy, those who preach the Gospel, direct souls toward a moral and upright life, and comfort those in pain. Whether they wear the collar or not, we have a high respect for those who dedicate their life to the spiritual health of their flocks. But wait — are all who claim a ‘mission from God’ able to waltz through the pearly gates because of what they did in life? Do you remember Jimmy Swaggart or Jim Bakker? What about the scandal about the sexual abuse of children by the priests of the Catholic Church? And now the Southern Baptists are engulfed in their own scandal by their own pastors who have violated children under their care. From time to time, another holy man is caught doing what horrifies regular folk. Most clergy, of course, do try to lead and teach and counsel as they ought, but wearing a collar does not give one immunity from sin.
How do we judge our own lives, where we can say with confidence, “What a good boy (or girl) am I?” Most probably feel life is like a ball game. So we look back on our lives and are able to say, “I scored more runs than I allowed, so I am a winner!” We carefully keep a scorecard, and assume that as we reach St. Peter, we can present this as proof of a life lived with the greatest integrity. But is each good act on a par with each evil act we do? Does quantity alone make us acceptable, or is quality of action a factor? If our thoughts are counted on the debit side, I’m afraid many of us are woefully behind in the moral game of life!
Can we find a formula that can, as we reach our ‘golden years’, help us to judge ourselves and our lives objectively? Actually, there is one, and one that is in the reach of all of us. Three simple ideas can make us look at our lives and the impact we have made on our world.
First, do as Paul admonishes in Romans — do no harm. And if we do, make amends!
Second, live the Golden Rule, not just memorize it. Every day.
Third, find out what God requires us to do in life, and then do it!
It will not be easy, for we are human and do err often. But we do want our footprint in life to be a positive one, and when we have that quiet time to assess our lives, integrity is important. If we find we have lived with integrity, perhaps we can say, not with self-pride, but with the knowledge we have fulfilled God’s will in our lives, “What a good boy (or girl) am I!”